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Post by wottesworthsgurl on Sept 9, 2009 18:22:02 GMT -5
Hehe  |
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Post by wottesworthsgurl on Sept 9, 2009 18:23:10 GMT -5
Hehe |
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Post by BulgarianMenace on Sept 9, 2009 22:36:43 GMT -5
totally agree with lisa, and what she says supports what I've been saying this whole time.
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Post by wottesworthsgurl on Sept 10, 2009 8:00:01 GMT -5
im at shcool lolll
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Post by ouphe on Sept 10, 2009 11:49:07 GMT -5
but the bear that raised you would be more your mother than the woman that gave birth to you. Not to mention that we're not talking about different species here. What's the significance of blood anyway? Or "where you came from." I mean, you could say where you came from represents your culture, but really culture is not something genetic, it's learned, and if you grow up somewhere else in a different culture than the one you "came from" then that culture becomes your own and you really have no connection to the other one. And blood means absolutely nothing. Suppose two babies were switched at birth unbeknownst to the parents, yet both babies looked similar enough to their "adopted" parents that they would never suspect they were "adopted." Would the relationship between parent and child be any different? Would they care for each other any less? (not taking into account dna testing, fingerprinting, etc; this is hypothetical situation, suspend your disbelief for a moment) this entire pursuit is a cultural invention. western and contemporary culture put a huge, overbearing emphasis on blood and dna-relation. I mean, you can argue that ultimately it's insignificant, but that doesn't alter mainstream mentality. |
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Post by hanzrimer on Sept 10, 2009 12:09:59 GMT -5
I just don't think we should discourage wottesworthgurl from doing what she feels she must do and for those of us that are not adopted it's easy to say don't worry about that, because we know were we came from and what we are etc etc. What Lisa said does make sense but also it would be extremely hard for her to find her birth parents any way being they are in Korea, I assume wottesworthgurl's parent are in this country. Maybe her mom was 15 when she got pregnant? There are a lot of reasons why you could give a baby up for adoption and that doesn't mean you're an evil person. To wottesworthgurl I say do what you got to do girl and good luck
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Post by AznLisa23 on Sept 10, 2009 14:14:58 GMT -5
I just don't think we should discourage wottesworthgurl from doing what she feels she must do and for those of us that are not adopted it's easy to say don't worry about that, because we know were we came from and what we are etc etc. What Lisa said does make sense but also it would be extremely hard for her to find her birth parents any way being they are in Korea, I assume wottesworthgurl's parent are in this country. Maybe her mom was 15 when she got pregnant? There are a lot of reasons why you could give a baby up for adoption and that doesn't mean you're an evil person. To wottesworthgurl I say do what you got to do girl and good luck Of course we shouldn't discourage her. I wasn't even going to post here because it is a very private issue for me. However after all the advice and support Wotts was getting I felt like since I was actually adopted I should share my story as well. I actually have a high change of finding my birth parents as I was adopted through a specific agency that has records and steps in place to make it possible for a reunion. I don't think my birth mother is "evil". I'm sure she did what she felt she needed to do. Whether it was because she was 15, or 30. If her parents "forced" her into it. If her boyfriend/husband didn't want a girl. If she couldn't afford to take care of me. Or gah...god forbid she was raped....Whatever the reason she had will never make sense to me unless I was stolen from her. That is the ONLY way anyone could ever take away my child from me, and then I would hunt them down warrior princess style anyways  However thank god I was adopted to a mother that actually choose me and wanted me. My mother that adopted me provided a great life for an unwanted baby. So I can thank my birth mother for that. The fact that she was selfish or maybe unselfish enough to give me up for another better life. Wotts can and will do whatever she feels she needs to do in her heart. I can only share my story with her to give her my almost 30 yrs (ahhhh) of experience living with being adopted. I actually have a sister and a friend that was adopted from the same agency in Korea and they both have different views as well. My friend feels the same way I do. But my sister actually thinks it would be cool to find her birth family. But my sister also likes drama. She knows all the celebrity gossip, calls the entire family with the smallest news (Lisa bought a new Ps3!!), was in a relationship for 15 yrs unmarried to a guy who cheated on her. I love her lol but she's crazy.  But if she decides to go look for her birth family I will support her because although we don't share blood she is my sister. Everyone has their own story in life and all we can do is share our own. That is all I am trying to do. Ughhh I am kinda sorry I started to though because it is depressing lol. I hope at least it helped wotts and some of the rest of you a little with the adoption issue. Gahhh I need a drink...BURNZ!!!....  |
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Post by BulgarianMenace on Sept 10, 2009 14:53:51 GMT -5
what it comes down to though is that even if you do find your biological parents they will be people you don't know and have no real connection to outside of genetics, which is really nothing as far as relationships go. You'll be trying to force the creation of a relationship with someone who didn't want you, whatever the reason for that may have been, and since their abandonment of you have never made the effort to find you themselves. Even if you want to accept the "too young" or "too poor" arguments, what excuse can you use after they grow up or get a job for not trying to find you and be a part of your life. And whatever forced relationship you may create, it still won't be a true parent-child relationship because they will not have been there to raise you, it would really not be very much different from any friend you might make later in life, although I imagine it would be much more awkward. It should never replace the parent-child relationship you have with your adopted parents, and it can only complicate that relationship and potentially harm it, and why would you want to do that?
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Post by hanzrimer on Sept 10, 2009 15:47:59 GMT -5
I just don't think we should discourage wottesworthgurl from doing what she feels she must do and for those of us that are not adopted it's easy to say don't worry about that, because we know were we came from and what we are etc etc. What Lisa said does make sense but also it would be extremely hard for her to find her birth parents any way being they are in Korea, I assume wottesworthgurl's parent are in this country. Maybe her mom was 15 when she got pregnant? There are a lot of reasons why you could give a baby up for adoption and that doesn't mean you're an evil person. To wottesworthgurl I say do what you got to do girl and good luck Of course we shouldn't discourage her. I wasn't even going to post here because it is a very private issue for me. However after all the advice and support Wotts was getting I felt like since I was actually adopted I should share my story as well. I actually have a high change of finding my birth parents as I was adopted through a specific agency that has records and steps in place to make it possible for a reunion. I don't think my birth mother is "evil". I'm sure she did what she felt she needed to do. Whether it was because she was 15, or 30. If her parents "forced" her into it. If her boyfriend/husband didn't want a girl. If she couldn't afford to take care of me. Or gah...god forbid she was raped....Whatever the reason she had will never make sense to me unless I was stolen from her. That is the ONLY way anyone could ever take away my child from me, and then I would hunt them down warrior princess style anyways However thank god I was adopted to a mother that actually choose me and wanted me. My mother that adopted me provided a great life for an unwanted baby. So I can thank my birth mother for that. The fact that she was selfish or maybe unselfish enough to give me up for another better life. Wotts can and will do whatever she feels she needs to do in her heart. I can only share my story with her to give her my almost 30 yrs (ahhhh) of experience living with being adopted. I actually have a sister and a friend that was adopted from the same agency in Korea and they both have different views as well. My friend feels the same way I do. But my sister actually thinks it would be cool to find her birth family. But my sister also likes drama. She knows all the celebrity gossip, calls the entire family with the smallest news (Lisa bought a new Ps3!!), was in a relationship for 15 yrs unmarried to a guy who cheated on her. I love her lol but she's crazy. But if she decides to go look for her birth family I will support her because although we don't share blood she is my sister. Everyone has their own story in life and all we can do is share our own. That is all I am trying to do. Ughhh I am kinda sorry I started to though because it is depressing lol. I hope at least it helped wotts and some of the rest of you a little with the adoption issue. Gahhh I need a drink...BURNZ!!!.... my post wasn't directed towards you at all Lisa, I mainly meant at the non adopted people trying to discourage her. I'm not adopted but I've had friends that were. |
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Post by wottesworthsgurl on Sept 10, 2009 19:26:47 GMT -5
What the fucking hell BM that's just harsh...thanks I guess
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Post by yash3ahuja on Sept 10, 2009 20:12:16 GMT -5
Its not harsh wott. I agree with him(for once). Its a huge strain with your adoptive parents, and its an unneccasary relationship. But, its your life, do what you want.
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Post by wottesworthsgurl on Sept 10, 2009 20:37:16 GMT -5
Seriously I'm not looking to have some type of relationship with her okay?! My birth mom is not my real mother yes I'm well aware of that ok??
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Post by wottesworthsgurl on Sept 10, 2009 20:39:00 GMT -5
My parents know I love them!!! They aren't like that no..never..
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Post by yash3ahuja on Sept 10, 2009 20:43:33 GMT -5
If you find her, your obviously gonna have a relationship with her. And no matter what, it's a huge strain for your parents
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Post by wottesworthsgurl on Sept 10, 2009 20:50:49 GMT -5
Um..whatever you guys don't know me or my parent relationship but ok that's what you think and I will respect that n not go crazy |
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However thank god I was adopted to a mother that actually choose me and wanted me. My mother that adopted me provided a great life for an unwanted baby. So I can thank my birth mother for that. The fact that she was selfish or maybe unselfish enough to give me up for another better life. 
But if she decides to go look for her birth family I will support her because although we don't share blood she is my sister. 
